Friday, October 12, 2012

The dark side of Legos....

I hate legos... There I said it.  Not so much those big chunky legos they make for toddlers, the little ones that come in huge sets, where you are sure to lose a piece before you get it done.  We've all seen the ads, children using their imaginations to build amazing little things.  What you don't see is the mom in the background, sneering and waiting for the opportune time to make a few more go missing until they're gone, for good!! Ahaha.. Or the mom or dad coming in to gently kiss their sleeping child goodnight and getting one of these babies lodged in their foot causing said parent to scream or fall over writhing in pain, thus waking up the child, and creating chaos for the rest of the night.  They really are just no good.

Even with all that, I have accepted legos in my home, heck I know I loved em when I was a kid, but the line has now been drawn.  I have joined the ranks of other moms and dads now who have had to go excavating in their child's nose/mouth/ears for miscellaneous objects.  I hope I never have to do that again.  I'm sure I've scared my child enough that she won't be putting anything in those holes again... hopefully. (Well the nose and ears anyways).  Thank god I have a tattle tale, who knows how many more she would have shoved up there?!  As I was doing the dishes, tattle tale came in to alert me that we had a major problem.  Oh well this sounds lovely, lets go check it out!  She leads me into the room she shares with her sister, and says, "look mom, look at her nose, its packed."  This is where I start to freak out, panic, call my mommy for help, keep my cool, and say "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU PUT UP YOUR NOSE?!" (yes I yelled, don't tell me you never have... you're lying.. ;) )  Long story short, many many legos, and a few lego flowers, is what the hell she had up her nose.  No bueno.

Now that all three of us are sitting there, crying, (hey, we're girls, we're emotional) trying to figure out what to do, I have to be the adult and think rationally. I go get the tweezers, and slowly pick each and every little lego out of her nose.  My little tattle tale sitting there, cheering me on, the other complaining,  and me, threatening warning her that if she does this again, she's going to the doctor, where he will not be so kind in getting these bad boys out.  Finally we get to the last one, THANK GOD, we are done!  Eh... not so quick mom. *SNIFF SNIFF* She sniffs this damn thing through her nasal cavity, and swallows it.  Hey, it could be worse I figured, she could have put it in her ears... Until I call the doctor just to make sure, and they inform me this little thing could get lodged in her intestines and cause problems, not to mention many other things.  Than this nurse tells me the best thing to do is to check her poop everyday for a week to make sure it comes out.  If there's one thing moms love to do, it's NOT dig through poop, but hey, you do what you gotta do right?  You do... because you are a MOM! ;) (seriously my husband would have probably just called his mom to figure this whole thing out had I not been here).

Eventually about 3 days later, we found that lego.  I almost wanted to frame it as a "hall of shame" kind of thing, but yea, that's gross. Instead I made the nose stuffing daughter throw it away (gagging the whole time) and swear on my life she would never do anything like this again.  I can positively say that I never did anything like that to my mom.  I still cannot understand what compels kids to stuff things up their noses/ears?!  Needless to say, the legos are OUT of this house for awhile.  Thank god.  Like I said, I hated those things anyways ;)  Please, tell me, make me feel better what have your kiddos put up their noses/ears?!


  1. One son stuffed his nose full of mashed potatoes, the second son used dog food in his ears, and the daughter was notorious for lipstick up her nose. Thank goodness they are now in their teens. I don't have dig for anything anymore.

    1. Oh my gosh, I cannot imagine all that! LOL I hope both my kiddos learned their lesson and will never do that again. *crosses fingers*

  2. Never up the nose, but down the toilet alot. Legos = large plumbing bills.

  3. lol.... I recently bout my daughter Lego type toys but nto as small.just for fear of this specific scenario.. LMAO at stepping at toys. I hate that..and ithappens too darn often. Have you ever slipped on your childs clothes hanger that was left on the floor inthemiddle of the night...OMG its painful i slide like 4 feet and landed on my ASS, and it was bruised for a week.

    This is the war that gets waged onus for being parents...LOL

  4. I spent most of my childhood wrestling slugs from my sister, as she used to like to eat them *blows cheeks out in a chuck up fashion* and pull chewing gum off the road and eat that *shudder* she has stomach problems now, go figure.