Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Riddle me this??

Ok... So my niece came home from school with this riddle today... PLEASE, someone figure it out :)  After chasing my toddlers, cleaning house, doing laundry, etc... I lack the creative energy (hell any energy at all) it takes to figure this one out... :)  Thanks dolls! <3

Monday, November 26, 2012

Right around the corner...

This year is really flying by!  It's pretty much the end of the year, and with the end of the year comes Christmas.  I think it's probably my favorite time of year.  MOST people are so cheery and happy and all the holiday songs playing.  I know there are a lot of you out there that are already sick of the music but I absolutely love it.  The kiddos and I have started putting lights up even.  The hubbs is a grinch about lights and trees and music, I think the only reason he doesn't put up much of a fuss anymore is because of the kids, LOL.  And this (Psycho)babbling Mommy, well she knows how to get her way ;).

Did you know that you can get a letter addressed to your kiddos from "Santa" from the North Pole?  I just found out last year and my kids ABSOLUTELY went nuts when they saw that letter sitting there from Santa Claus.  Especially now that they are at the age where they want to read anything and everything, it really got them excited.  Now I know there are agencies you can pay for the whole kit, (letter, picture, mug, etc) but this is free, except for postage, and it's from the "north pole" ;)

Here’s how “Letters From Santa” works:

  1. Write a letter to your child from Santa Claus and sign it “From Santa.”
  2. Insert the letter into an envelope addressed to your child with the return address:
  3. Ensure a First-Class Mail stamp is affixed to the envelope.
  4. Place the envelope into a larger envelope, with appropriate postage, and address the larger envelope to:
  5. Your letter “From Santa” will be mailed back to your child, postmarked from the North Pole.
“Letters From Santa” must be mailed to the Anchorage, AK, postmaster no later than Dec. 10, 2012. Santa’s helpers in Anchorage will take care of the rest.
Here's a letter to Santa, I'm sure most moms could agree with ;)
Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year.  I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my children on demand and visited the doctor's office more than my doctor. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my daughter's red crayon on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 14 years.
Here's my Christmas wish(s):
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache *in any color except purple, which I already have*, and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.  I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the fourth month of my pregnancy.
If you're hauling big-ticket items this year, I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands of your sister" because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the cats.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.  If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season.  Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable?  It would clear my conscience immensely.  It would also be helpful if you could coerce my kids to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family. 
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door.  I think she wants her crayon back.  Have a safe trip, and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch a cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on my clean carpet.
Yours always,
The (Psycho)Babbling Mommy
p.s. one more can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa for at least 6 more years :)...

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Is it getting hot in here?

Most of you (Psycho)babblers saw the picture the other day of the mail I got from someone who was disgusted about something I put on my page.  And because of said post, I was reserved a nice warm seat in hell.  Or the post from a fellow (psycho)babbler that said that I couldn't possibly be a mother or woman at all by the way that I talk and the things I post, only a perverted old man would post the things I do, and that if I indeed was a woman, I could no longer hold the title of a "lady" because of the filth I like to read and write.  Oh my, I really lost sleep over that one ;)

Many of you were shocked or surprised that I get mail like this.  Nowadays, these are so common, I don't even think twice about them.  The more on display you are, of course the more criticism you'll receive.  I get that.  I mean it's just natural to judge someone or criticize them based on what you see.  But, what you don't see is the woman, dare I say LADY, behind the screen.  The wife who sees her hard working husband off to work, than attends to her children all day, while cleaning the house, doing loads of laundry, walking the dog, ETC.  and jumpin on the computer when she gets a chance, to talk to and have fun with (mostly) like minded people.  What's wrong with that?  Nothing.  Yes, some of the things I post may be offensive or dirty, but it is my page.  If you don't like it, don't look at it.  Simple as that :)  Does that warrant name calling or calling ahead to reserve a spot for me with the dear old king of the underworld?  Not really.

What makes me laugh is that A LOT of these emails come from God fearing men and women who, in like the picture above, fear for how I live my life, and where I'll end up, because THEY don't like what I'm doing.  What are they doing, judging, which from what I learned was frowned upon.  I highly doubt that when my time comes, to be judged, that God (or whoever you believe in, or don't believe in, hey what do I care?) is going to pull up my Facebook page and say, "Well, I really don't like this picture you posted back in October of 2011... You're denied entrance, you'll have to take that stairway over there to where you belong.  Thanks."  I mean really?  What I think is that deep down, they are just not happy with where they are in life, and want to cast harsh judgement on those that they deem inappropriate, or offensive, when they could just look away.

Another question that pops up in my head is, in this day and age, what is considered a "lady"?  What do you consider a lady?  I think a lady stays classy, but still says what is on her mind without worry of offending people.  Who says a lady can't joke around and say things that are dirty.  Let me break it for you guys, if you didn't know already.  Women, and ladies, talk about things you men talk about as well.     For some reason though, when it's broadcast people try to act like they are offended when you know dang well that they probably would joke around with someone about that exact subject had it been in the privacy of their own home.  That's all I'm doing, and all you amazing (Psycho)babblers, well most of you anyways, have welcomed me into your homes, so we can chat and joke, and just have a fun time.  I love being able to get on and talk to you guys, vent with you, joke, and sometimes even shed a tear with you and what's going on.  I have gotten to know many of you like friends and can't wait to see what's going on in your day to day lives.  When I started The (Psycho)babbling Mommy, I thought it was just a fun little page for some friends of mine to come and we could post things without having to worry about offending parents/grandparents/boyfriends/girlfriends/etc.  I never imagined it would turn into a page with over 19,000 people all coming together to laugh, and help each other out when questions do arise.  As you've seen with many of the questions, we are NOT in the 1940's and 50's anymore, women want to know, and should be able to ask any question they want to know the answers to without having to worry that she'll look like "less of a lady".  ;)  Even some men have written in with great questions!  It's really awesome we can all just help each other out without a whole lot of judgement.  Once in a while we get a troll who criticizes and puts people down, but you guys blow em out of the water and get back to the subject at hand. :)

I want to say thank you to all you (Psycho)babblers who log on and hang out with me and my crazy page.  You guys have truly been an inspiration and why I love to sign on.  For every hate letter I get, there are 25 more behind it that are supportive.  So thank you guys for all you do, and for making the page what it is. :) You're the best.  And if we are indeed judged by what we think is hilarious and what we talk about, than whoever beats me there, save me a seat and a cocktail!! ;)  XOXO